How to deal with the voice of our inner critic
Most of us would admit to hearing our inner critic 'speaking' to us.
That voice in your head that says - "you're not good enough", "you're going to fail", or "that's too hard".
This voice is trying to keep you safe and is well-intentioned. The approach it often takes, however, is far from kind. It can be downright nasty. We should call it out for what it is - a bully and the thief of dreams.
“You'd never dream of speaking to a friend like that. Subconsciously though, a part of you sees it as ok to talk to yourself in that way”.
I'll likely lose many of you now, as I suggest all you need to do is 'talk back' to the bully. Give the inner critic a name. Let's call it ‘John’, and ‘John’ has been rabbiting on all day in the background. There is a role at work that would be your dream job. It would be a stretch, and there would be a big learning curve - but imagine if you got it? Every time the excitement rises, ‘John’ pipes up with some well-meaning advice.
"You'll never get it".
"What if you don't get it - then you'll look stupid in front of everyone".
"You're not smart enough".
“What if you told 'John' to 'f' off and put your best foot forward?”.
How would that feel (really feel) to get that role? What would that mean for your future? What other opportunities would it create?
So here's my advice. When you hear your inner critic about to kick off, give it a name. Every time it starts with well-meaning advice, remember it's there as a protection mechanism (and there will be advice to be heeded, but it might look more like - "do I want to work harder right now?”)
Ask the inner critic to speak kindly to you, and let it know that you'll be open to listening when it does.
And if not, tell the inner critic to 'f' off, drum up the courage, and go for it.
(This article does not intend to make light of an issue that can impact one's mental health. If this is feels like an insurmountable problem for you, I'd strongly encourage you to seek the help of a mental health professional).
As a wellness coach I’m an expert in behaviour change. I’m also an ex-corporate workaholic who, despite some serious odds after a life-changing accident worked in senior leadership roles.
I know what it takes to achieve your goals, and can help you too.
